Fundamental Changes
by christikat
Summary: House discovers a secret of Wilson and follows him out of jealousy. An unexpected tragedy happens. The story is written from House's POV and is set directly after the episode "Sex Kills" from season 2. There will be 19 chapters altogether. Hurt/comfort!
1. Chapter 1

**Fundamental Changes**

I always had the impression that if something fundamental was about to change it should at least be announced by blaring fanfares. Oh wait; I'm confusing fantasy with reality. There weren't any blaring fanfares, not even trumpets or any other kind of music instrument that warned me of the events which would turn my world upside down.

I had just played a prank with a water bowl and came home to find a thoroughly ashamed and at the same time pissed off Wilson. Of course, he didn't show either emotion rather than kept on the façade of being insouciant. I didn't think that he'd take that little prank to heart and react like he did. Not that I would _not_ have placed his hand into the water bowl if I had known about it beforehand. You simply can't pass such possibilities unused.

The day after prank-day we played evasion. Well, _he_ played evade House; I didn't participate in his play. I would find out sooner or later anyway if there was anything important going to happen. I should have paid better attention, the shattering of my cane really caught me by surprise. I have to admit that I believed we were even after that. For whatever reason my specifically fine-tuned Wilson alarm bells didn't ring for a long time although they should have screamed.

I was stunned when I found a small post-it note sticking to the fridge three weeks later in which he informed me that he had moved out. Guess it is unnecessary for me to say I wasn't amused by his selfish reaction. He didn't even wash the dishes the night before he left!

Sourly I drove to the hospital with one goal in my mind – embarrassing him. Everyone always thought I was embarrassing him on a daily basis because I'm an ass but the truth is simple. Whenever I'm able to make him to blush I feel accomplished and could drink in the sight of him. If he was truly embarrassed he'd card his fingers through his hair or gnaw on his lower lip or even get his patent hurt puppy look. All of this made him look so young and … uh, _cute_. I don't like cute in general, only when it is connected to him. That's a very fine distinction, right?

So, when I was at work I went straight to his office. My barging in proved to be difficult as his door was locked. This left me standing there scowling at the door. I unlocked his office door with the spare key – which I only have in case of an emergency, of course – and let myself in. To my disappointment he wasn't having wild sex with a patient on his sofa. He wasn't working at all, he wasn't even there.

Frowning, I went to his desk and briefly looked over the neatly stacked papers. I opened his calendar and on the current day stuck another post-it note that told me to get a life. I smiled – at least he knew me well.

As I waited for his computer to boot up, I drummed my fingertips impatiently on the polished surface of his desk. He had changed his password but he was so predictable that I figured out the new password at my third attempt. He obviously didn't think that I'd find out – or that I'd try to – because he certainly wouldn't have left a trace of what he was doing otherwise. While I browsed through his e-mails on his private account I got to know that Wilson was dating someone he found via a chat on the internet. What really struck me was that he was dating a man.

More and more impatiently I skimmed through his mails, turning sick at reading some of their exchange. Reginald – a cringe worthy name if you ask me – was wooing Wilson and my dumb best friend fell for it. He even allowed Reginald to call him Jimmy from time to time although _everyone_ knows that this is_ my_ nickname for him.

My teeth were gnashing by the time I found out that they were going to meet for the first time in person tomorrow in a new, small and expensive hotel that was built between two lakes. The hotel was virtually nestled in a valley with only one road to reach it. Big rock formations sprung up behind the hotel which was sitting between two huge reservoirs. One of the reservoirs was directly at the back of the hotel and the other, even bigger one, was at the front. Even the reservoirs fit into this ambience as they were constructed to look like artificial lakes. The valley and rock formations should have generated a claustrophobic feeling but instead it suggested being a cozy and entirely idyllic ambience. Exactly the kind of stuff Wilson appreciated greatly.

The hotel-website described itself as a place of peace and contemplation but to me it sounded simply boring. The valley was small and only the hotel, a small wood and many lakes were there. You could only hike, drive boats or sleep. I wasn't sure what Wilson intended to do. Of course such an ambience screamed for a romantic tête-à-tête. This thought flashed me into action.

Hastily I checked his reservation, called the hotel and after some harsh discussion was successful in changing the single bedroom into a double one. I needed a place to sleep too and it didn't make _that_ much difference to his credit card.

After shutting down his computer and locking the door to his office I quickly stuck my head into my conference room, informing my fellows that I was sick and on my way home. The looks on their faces told me clearly that they didn't believe me but I didn't care anyway. I was in dire need of creating a plan to prevent Wilson from making a very serious mistake.


	2. Chapter 2

By the time I got to the lake district – I had only stopped at home to throw a few clothes into a bag – my mind was still blank. I didn't want Wilson to think I was acting jealous which proved to be a challenge. Frankly, I did know that I was reacting exactly like a jealous lover but that didn't mean I liked my own behavior. It also didn't mean that I could stop myself from doing what I did. I should have supported him in exploring a new relationship, even if it was with a man. At least I think another best friend would have done that.

It wasn't as if I didn't know about Wilson swinging both ways. We were fuck buddies for over ten years, had survived his marriages, my infarction and a lot more. Wilson had hinted that he wanted us to be more than just fuck buddies but that was only early in our friendship. I set the rules and believed that he'd bowed to them and settled for what I was willing to give. Never did it cross my mind that he'd look for completion with someone else, especially not another man. I mean, our arrangement was beneficial for the both of us but without the exhausting serious relationship stuff.

I parked my car in the underground garage and headed towards the reception. I got the key for the room and rode up in the elevator. The sight out of the huge window was breathtaking. The wind was freshening, pushing the dark greyish clouds forward fast. The surfaces of the lakes became more and more troubled but the sight was still marvelous. The hotel was practically surrounded by lakes, causing a somewhat surreal feeling to overcome me. There was even an artificial waterfall on the left side of the hotel which fed the big lake in front of it with fresh water.

As I stared out of the window I caught a glimpse of Wilson's Volvo in the distance, approaching the hotel on the curled street. I still didn't have a plan; not even about what I wanted to say when he'd enter the room. Clueless as I was I simply hoped for my improvisation skills to take over in time. I settled on the bed, the personification of nonchalance, played with my Gameboy and lied to myself. You know, like I wasn't nervous, not jealous and I sure as hell was _not_ scared to lose him. Not that me lying to myself would have helped to soothe my frazzled nerves or my nervously rumbling stomach.

I winced slightly when the door opened, then waited for Wilson to enter the room fully. He was pulling a suitcase behind him and wore jeans, a long-sleeved blue shirt and looked … oh well, _cute_.

I could swear that he shrieked when he discovered me resting on his bed, startling in the process. The suitcase dangled when the handle slipped out of his hand while he stared at me out of eyes that were literally as big as saucers. Okay, maybe not saucers but you get the picture. I never saw his skin color change from rosy to chalky to red to white to red again _that_ quickly before. It sure was fascinating to watch him struggling to find his voice and coordinated movements back.

"_House!_"

"_Wilson!_"

"What … what are you doing here?"

"I don't know. What are _you_ doing here?"

There came the hands on hip pose, accompanied by this exasperated facial expression which was especially reserved for me. "House."

"Wilson."

"What. Are. _You_. Doing. Here?"

"Let me think about it. Didn't we have this conversation already? Why are _you_ here?"

With a groan he slumped down on the edge of the bed, dropped his head into his hands and sighed deeply. Defeated he mumbled, "How did you find out that I'm taking a small vacation?"

"You're not taking a small vacation. You're preparing yourself to meet _Reginald_ tomorrow."

He flinched, scooted away from me and tousled his hair while he fumbled for words. The fumbling didn't bear any fruit so he jumped up and paced through the room. Finally he paused in a corner of the room, pressed his lips together and pinched the bridge of his nose. All signs for an extremely stressed out Wilson. His voice sounded odd when he asked, "How did you find out about my date? I didn't talk to _anyone_ about it."

"You should think of better passwords," I shrugged. The mixture of despair and defeat he radiated was unnerving. The incredulous look he gave me after my comment wasn't any less unnerving.

"You … broke … into my private mail account?"

"Like I said, you should think of a better password," I repeated.

His explosion caught me by surprise, "You bloody arrogant fucking careless bastard! It is a crime to break into someone else's e-mail account! I'm going to report that!"

I wasn't only caught by surprise, I also _looked_ surprised. In fact so surprised that he snapped, "Gee, House! Close your mouth before the flies make themselves comfortable in it." All cuteness evaporated and became replaced by coldness and dejection when he said, "Get out of this room. Don't sabotage my date. Oh, and while we're at it – get out of my life too."

I can't remember how I felt during and after his little speech but I know that I replied, "The hotel is full. There is no other room available and I can't drive back today anymore. Don't you think you're overreacting? If you need to let off a bit steam I could lend you my hand."

The cushion that landed in my face actually _hurt_. When I had it peeled off my face Wilson was standing next to the bed, hands balled into fists, eyes brimming with angry tears. Seeing him that rattled got to me. The silence between us got to me even more. I was expecting him either to yell at me or set the white flag and let me have my victory. He was doing neither thing. He just kept glaring at me out of glazed eyes which were negating the effect of his glare.

Until today I can't recall what possessed me to launch at him, pull him in close by the nape of his neck and press his rigid body against mine till he relaxed. I pulled and tugged even more at him, coaxing him into snuggling up to me. The scent of his shampoo was unknown to me and caused me to tighten my grip around his upper body. Blood was pumping so quickly through my veins that I almost missed his statement, "I _will_ go to my date tomorrow and you won't interfere with it." After a short pause he whispered, "No matter what we might be doing in here later."

"We'll just write it down as another pre-marriage kind of favor. To get your rocks off," I suggested.

"Get my rocks off and I'll think about room service for dinner and letting you near my ass later this evening."

At that moment I thought he was a rotten manslut but later I understood how desperate he was to be close to me, only me. I lent him my hand which met with his approval. In fact he approved so much that I got dinner, his ass, TV and a goodnight's sleep in a very comfortable bed. I felt generous and allowed him to doze off with his head resting in the crook of my arm. The expression in his eyes was unreadable as I gave him that permission but his content sigh betrayed him.

I might have cuddled him for real if I had known that I'd believe he was dead 24 hours later.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning I woke to the sound of the shower. I rolled my eyes when the blow-dryer came to life and pressed a pillow over my face. I must have dozed off again because suddenly cool air hit my face and a concerned looking Wilson asked exasperatedly, "Are you trying to suffocate yourself with a pillow?"

"No. Your grooming habits might be unnerving but not so much that I'd want to kill myself. How's your ass? Think Reginald will approve that I loosened you up already?"

At least the pillow didn't hurt as much as the cushion when he started to beat me with it. It took me almost five attempts to wrestle the pillow out of his hands and get him pinned under me. His perfectly groomed hair was a renew mess; he glared at me while his chest heaved up and down heavily. I bent down and kissed him on tightly pressed together lips, waiting for him to part them. Anger rushed through me as he turned his head away but I made the best of it and sucked hard on his throat. He yelped, "Don't leave a hickey!"

"Reginald wouldn't approve of that?" I asked grimly.

He tilted his head and pressed his lips against mine, finally parting them to allow me access. I still held his wrists in a firm grip and felt him shivering. We kissed for a while until I was sure I had made my point. I was proved wrong when he said, "I'm still going on this date and you won't interrupt it, understood?"

"If I don't follow your … _suggestion_ … what will happen then?"

He stared at me for a long time, swallowing rapidly but not getting a single word out. "Wilson?" I prompted.

He bolted upright and more or less jumped out of the bed. That was already the second time in less than 24 hours that he caught me completely by surprise with hissing, "I don't care. Leave me alone! At least he won't call me by my last name!"

He stomped over to his shoes, slipped them on, carded his fingers through his hair to bring it back in order, threw a murderous glance to me and rushed out of the door. I sat dumbfounded on the bed, gaping and trying very hard to process what the use of his last name had to do with all this chaos. I shook my head to clear it but it was of no avail. What a mess!

After showering I went down for breakfast. I found him sitting at a small table, absentmindedly stirring his coffee and staring outside. Big windows were everywhere, allowing a spectacular sight of the surrounding lakes. I sat down but he didn't react. I started to eat but after two minutes the clinking sound of the spoon in the mug was grating on my nerves. I laid my hand on top of his to stop the movement, startling him out of a daydream. Wide eyed he looked at me, something I couldn't grasp flickered up in his eyes for a second but was gone too quickly. He withdrew his hand, took a sip of his coffee and sighed afterwards.

"Will you leave after breakfast?"

"I don't think so," I answered around a delicious piece of pancake.

"Why am I not surprised?" He pinched the bridge of his nose before he added, "_Please_, don't do anything to embarrass me. Reginald seems to be nice, really nice. Don't scare him away."

I chewed but the pancake didn't taste that good anymore. It felt more like chewing gum and deep down I realized that I was in fact losing Wilson. He wanted a relationship, a real one - with another man. Icy shivers ran up and down my spine, I already hated this Reginald-guy. "I don't make empty promises and you know that," I said.

He sucked in his lower lip and for a moment I feared he'd break out into tears. Instead he stood up wordlessly and left the room. I followed him as quick as possible. We rode the elevator up to the room we shared and I'm pretty sure he was thinking about smashing the door into my face. He stood in the middle of the room, balling his hands into fists and searching for the right words. I cut him off with, "I don't want you to meet this guy. I read the mails; he's wooing you to get into your pants. Though I don't understand why he's making such a fuss over it. It's not that difficult to get into your pants."

My social skills were bordering on a zero line with this comment. I knew it while saying those lines. I almost missed that he strode over, ready to slap me. I caught his wrist and felt his erratically pulsating blood. Out of glazed eyes he stared at me and choked out, "I always thought you were only a self-centered bastard but now I think you're a psychopath."

I yanked him close and held him tightly against my chest. I could feel his heart beating rapidly; the beats were palpable in my own chest. Maybe I confused his heart beats with my own. I was terrified when I blurted, "I don't want you to see him. You belong to me, no one else."

He didn't say anything for a long time and the only thing I heard was the clock on the wall ticking loudly. I loosened my grip but let my hands rest on his shoulders. He gazed at me, his brown eyes softened before he swallowed and said firmly, "This is about me, not about you. I want to give Reginald a fair chance; I want to give myself a fair chance to be happy. I'm … I'm going for a walk now." I felt his shoulders trembling underneath my sweaty palms as he whispered, "I'm sorry."

He left me alone and I staggered over to the bed, slumping down on it. I laid my head in my hands and for the very first time in many years I cried.

When I finally got a grip on myself, I went to the bathroom and splashed some water in my face. I flinched at seeing my face in the mirror. I had gotten old, the wrinkles in my face and the grey streaks in my hair confirmed it. My red rimmed eyes didn't do anything good for my appearance. But still Wilson had always been there. I couldn't believe that he finally had enough. Or maybe I didn't want to acknowledge the truth.

I went over to a big armchair that was conveniently placed in front of a window which allowed me to overlook the lakes and paths in between. Two minutes later I had spotted Wilson and followed him with my eyes. He was on his way back and I was agonizing about what I could say or do to win him back. The only thing that I came up with was to eventually give in to his wish to have a real relationship. Maybe it was really time; maybe I really should trust him and shouldn't expect the worst outcome.

I must have stared into space and felt myself smiling at the thought of us becoming a couple. Of course I wasn't looking forward to certain parts of a relationship but at that moment the positive aspects were much more convincing than the negative ones. There is the possibility that I growled loudly when I threw a glance out of the window and found Wilson standing together with another guy near the entrance of the hotel. I had the sudden urge to throw a stone through the window but fortunately for me there was no stone within reach.

Instead I watched the other guy and Wilson talking and laughing. Wilson tilted his head to one side, a sign of attentive listening on his part. My jaw began to hurt because I was pressing my teeth together too hard. I heard my teeth gnashing when the guy hugged Wilson and then guided him into the hotel with one hand resting on the small of his back.

My vision was blurred and I had to take in deep breaths to calm down. Not that I had been successful but at least I tried. That guy must be the ominous Reginald. God that name alone caused bile to rise up within me. I swallowed it and heaved myself up from the armchair. Disapprovingly I stared at my shaking hand that was holding the cane. Disgust rushed through me – what did I have to offer? A broken body, excessive possessiveness and tons of rude jokes. Yeah, it was a miracle Wilson didn't want to be with me, I thought sarcastically.

That didn't mean I would let this Reginald-guy get him. No way! Time to fight, no matter the cost. Grimly I closed my hand around the handle of my cane and stalked out of the hotel room, over to the elevator. On my ride downstairs I wondered what I was going to do when I found them. The scenario of me dragging Wilson up to our room by his collar seemed to be a bit overdramatic. The other thing was that I wanted Wilson to realize that Reginald wasn't the right choice for him – however I was going to prove this.


	4. Chapter 4

It was already noon and the restaurant had filled with customers to eat lunch. I stood in the entrance of the restaurant, searching for Wilson's mop of brown hair. I hope nobody saw my face right in this moment because I must have looked like a lunatic. The Reginald-guy radiated an aura of nonchalance and elegance. His silver-gray hair was groomed perfectly; he wore a well-fitting suit and was obviously capable of captivating Wilson's attention. I hated how Wilson gazed at Reginald.

I strode over to their table, sat down on a free chair and cheerfully said, "Oh James! How lovely to meet you here!"

Wilson pulled back his hand out of Reginald's hand as if it had caught fire. His head swiveled around; a nice flush was already spreading from his cheeks to his neck when he croaked, "House!"

"Yes, that's me! Glad you still recognize me. Will you introduce me to your friend?" I asked. A smile was plastered all over my face although it surely looked more alarming than inviting.

Wilson introduced us with his usual embarrassed stammering, flushing even more when he recognized that he was stammering. Reginald extended a hand to me, "Pleased to meet you."

I had to bite on my tongue to not say the obvious, "I'm not." Wilson was waiting for this line to leave my mouth if his wide-eyed expression was any indicator. "I haven't seen Wilson for quite a while, you don't mind if I take lunch together with you, do you?"

Wilson paled but couldn't do anything against Reginald's cheerfully answer of, "Of course not. Every friend of James is mine too."

Wilson looked like a hurt puppy at that moment so I decided to change tactics and behaved well. It was getting harder and harder with every minute because Reginald knew exactly how to wrap Wilson around his little finger. How was I supposed to get out here as the winner?

Fittingly to my mood it began to rain outside. Soon streams of water ran down the windows, denying everyone the sight to the lakes. The monotone plashing of the water was lulling me even further into a morose mood. I must have gone quiet during the conversation and I still wonder that one of them took notice of it. I started when a hand covered mine, squeezed shortly and asked in concern, "House? You're okay?"

I blinked to clear my vision and was greeted with Wilson's face hovering inches away from mine. Unconsciously – at least that's my explanation because I'd never have acted that affectionately in a public place otherwise – I reached out with my hand and stroked my thumb over Wilson's cheekbone. He froze underneath my touch, his eyes getting wide in surprise. I saw his Adam's apple bobbing up and down before he took my hand and laid it on the table. His gaze flit between me and Reginald before he found his voice and said towards Reginald, "That was a lovely lunch. I think we have to cancel our plan to take a walk together around the lakes. I guess you're tired now from the drive anyway. How about we meet again in two hours here and decide how we're going to spend the afternoon?"

Reginald smiled but it came across a bit strained. Good, maybe my presence had unsettled him. Nonetheless he nodded and answered, "Sure, that sounds good."

Reginald paid for the three of us which naturally lead to a lot of fussing on the part of Wilson but eventually they agreed that Wilson could pay for dinner. I was getting a headache from all the pleasantries around me. Reginald went to his own room which was thankfully on the top floor whereas Wilson and I got off the elevator at the second floor. He frowned when we left the elevator on the same floor but I played my role perfectly as I exclaimed, "What a coincidence! You're staying on this floor too?"

"Uh, um, yes," James answered in an elaborate manner. He turned around, quickly pecked Reginald on a cheek and said, "See you later."

Reginald beamed at Wilson whereas I surely glared at him. I can't remember precisely because my hands throbbed from balling them together into fists. Bloody cane in my right hand made the fist rather painful. Wilson waited for the elevator door to close and then followed me to our room.

As soon as the door was closed he stomped over to his suitcase, got fresh clothes and stomped into the bathroom. "Hey," I shouted, "don't lock the door or I might need to pee on the floor instead."

Instead of an answer I only heard the tap being opened. I groaned and flopped down on the bed. Great, now he was sulking and obviously decided to run himself a bath which meant I wouldn't get to see him for at least an hour. Shortly I contemplated if I should constantly rap at the door or sing or do whatever to annoy him but I felt uncomfortable, even queasy. Maybe I could win back some sympathy with allowing him some peace. So I zapped through the channels, hoping to find something worth watching.

I was half asleep when Wilson finally emerged from the bathroom. For a while he made himself busy with stuffing clothes in his suitcase, fumbling with his hair and whatever else. His whole body language told me that he was agitated. "Don't jizz your pants. Reginald already knows how you look and he seemed to appreciate it. Of course he doesn't know that you gained weight during the past two years and will probably continue to do so."

I mean he had gained weight but I actually thought that it was nice, no more sharp hipbones, ribs or anything else that seemed to break if I touched too firmly. He winced, then turned around. The hurt expression on his face almost knocked the breath out of me. It had been a cruel statement, simply said to hurt him. Although I felt like crap I was also smugly waiting for him to cancel his date with Reginald.

"That was a low blow. Are you that scared of having to share me?" he asked. His face was expressionless when he turned back to me. "Just for the record – I don't belong to you and never will so cut the jealous lover attitude. Get yourself a hooker, we are done."

I was rendered into speechlessness. Something was going terribly wrong and I didn't know how to stop it, not to speak of how to fix it. He was done with dressing and tied his shoes before he straightened up. "Tomorrow morning you'll have left this room otherwise I'll have someone remove you."

"That means we'll spend the night together. Can't get enough of me, huh?" I didn't feel as cocky as I came across but I was unable to break old habits.

"No, we don't. Reginald likes me; he won't say no if I offer him a … _special_ get-to-know-me."

Utter rage caused me to jump up from the bed and cross the distance between us within seconds. He was surprised, that much was for sure. He took a step backwards when I reached him. He was intimidated by me, the consistent blinking and rubbing his neck a dead-give away sign for that. His nervous posture fueled my anger even more because I did _not_ want him to feel timid around me. We stood in front of each other, Wilson almost touching the wall with his back and I was ready to yell at him, to somehow get into his pretty head that this Reginald-guy was not going to touch him as long as I was under the living when a loud roar caught our attention.


	5. Chapter 5

I remember that he frowned while he tilted his head sideways, listening attentively. His eyes widened and his mouth formed a perfect 'o' when the roar increased in volume. He grabbed my arm and wordlessly pointed with a finger to the window. His fingers were cold and trembling. I understood why as soon as I swept my gaze into the pointed direction. Huge rocks were falling down from the outer wall of the water reservoir and right into one of the lakes, causing huge water fountains of water. I didn't trust my eyes at first, which was understandable because it was still raining like mad and the vision kind of blurry.

I was still wondering about the roaring sounds when Wilson intertwined our hands. He was pale as sheets when he whispered, "The wall … the wall of the water reservoir … it's breaking."

I looked more closely and gasped. Right in that moment the hole in the wall exploded and all hell broke loose. Million liters of water busted the wall and sloshed down onto the lakes below them. The accompanying noise was deafening.

More and more of the wall broke and more and more water swallowed the earth. We stumbled into a frightened embrace when the hotel felt like it had been hit by something solid. We heard people shouting and then the first windows broke with loud clashing sounds, rocking the hotel slightly. People began to scream and yell; sometimes they seemed to become cut off rather abruptly.

We were still staring outside when Wilson tugged sharply at my hand. He turned around and dragged me behind him, urgently telling me, "We have to get on the roof."

I threw a quick glance back and decided that he was right. The water had already almost reached our window and if I had to die I wanted to do it on my own terms. I was not going to drown. I ran into Wilson who stood in the door frame of our room and asked, "Hey, getting on the roof means that we have to walk out of the room, ya know?"

I peeked over his shoulder and gaped. Wilson was staring at the elevator. Or more precisely he was staring at the flames that were leaking out of the doors. Somehow the doors opened and closed every few seconds and I thought how fucked up it was that the elevator was burning while everything else was drenched in water.

Someone had been in this elevator; the smell of burned flesh was unmistakable. Gently I patted Wilson on a shoulder and pushed. People hastened around us, all with the same terrified look on their faces. We followed some people to the stairways and I quickly tossed a Vicodin into my mouth. The hotel wasn't fully booked but there were still a lot of guests trapped in this building, Wilson and myself included.

Climbing the stairs was exhausting for me. Each stairway consisted of exactly 25 steps, then there was a small plateau and another 25 steps until we reached the next floor. I was already sweating by the time we reached the fourth floor and cursed my leg. The hotel had seven floors but there were still way too many stairs for my liking. We reached the fourth floor just in time as the windows on the third floor started to crack and allowed the water to flood the rooms. I swallowed when I saw how quickly the water ascended.

Wilson waited for me; his dark eyes were sticking out against the paleness of his face. People ran past us to be the first ones on the stairways and didn't care if they knocked someone over. Wilson helped an elderly woman up who squeaked a "Thank you" before she hastily walked to the stairs. I shook my head – Wilson, the ever present boy scout even when he was almost jizzing in his pants in fear. We were the last ones to go upstairs and therefore had the joy of seeing another huge part of the reservoir crumble down.

It almost broke my heart when Wilson came to me and squeezed my hand for a short moment. He looked so young and so fucking vulnerable when he asked me, "Do you … think the whole hotel will get flooded?"

I wanted to tell him "No", that I wouldn't allow anyone or anything to harm him but of course that would have been stupid. It was stupid to even feel this way but I was more afraid of anything happening to him than to me. I pulled him in close which startled him. After the first initial shock moment he nestled up against my side and hugged me. Quietly I admitted, "I hope not. Come one, let's follow the herd."

I slowed down more and more and had to bite on my lower lip to prevent myself from grunting in pain. Wilson watched me in concern and I could tell that he was struggling with himself about what he should do. The wise decision would have been to leg it and get upstairs as quickly as possible. He didn't and I can't deny that I was grateful when he slung my left arm around his shoulder. By the time we reached the next floor I was drenched in sweat and panting. I only wanted to sit down and rest a bit but Wilson forced me to go on.

While we climbed upstairs with the crowd of people in front of us getting bigger and bigger I thought about the construction of the hotel. Would it be able to stay upright with tons of water pressing against it from everywhere? How were we going to get rescued? It was easy for me to let my mind wander because otherwise I would have gone crazy with the noises around me. It baffled me that the other guests weren't screaming hysterically. They were frighteningly quiet, even the few children that were there sniffled lowly. The only noises that could be heard were harsh panting and the splashing sounds of the water. Sometimes another window gave up the fight and splintered into tiny pieces. The walls of the hotel seemed to moan and groan, wondering why they had to fight against the water.

When we reached the sixth floor my leg buckled and only Wilson's valiant grip around me prevented me from falling onto the floor. God, I was shaking from exertion and the worried look Wilson gave me made me furious. I was about to snarl at him when most of the windows on the fourth floor conceded defeat and gave the water permission to enter that floor. Wilson jumped when he heard the cracking of the windows and I could tell that he was really terrified. He only liked lakes, the sea and water in general if he could watch it from a safe place. I only had found out by accident that he had almost drowned when he was ten years old. Pangs of remorse rushed through me when I remembered how I used to tease him and how I used my knowledge to embarrass him.

"Wilson! Jimmy … it's going to be okay," I babbled. I didn't believe that anything would be okay because it seemed as if both reservoirs were breaking at the same time. Wilson was breathing harshly and tightened his grip around my waist. I beckoned him to go over to a window but he looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

"No way am I going near a window right now," he croaked.

"I want to see if it's still only the one reservoir that is falling apart or if it is the other one too."

I felt bad for putting such a scared look on his face but at least he was curious enough to help me walk to the window. What we saw made us both inhale sharply.


	6. Chapter 6

Everything was covered with water, not even a single tree crown was breaking the surface. I swallowed and could feel Wilson do the same. His fingers were digging into my waist and I tilted my head to glance at him. His skin color was bordering on translucent and his eyes were sunken in their sockets. I had to resist the deep desire to cradle his head against my chest and mumble soothing words. I wasn't sure if he had approved of that and even in this situation I knew he was scared but not a weakling that would break down in fear. I still wanted to reassure him that I was there but as I was bending over to kiss him lightly on a cheek we heard, "_James_! Thank God you're okay!"

I gnashed my teeth together tightly and glared at Reginald. Wilson put on a relieved smile and turned around to face his new friend. I supported myself with the wall at my back while Reginald pulled Wilson in an embrace. Unconsciously I lifted up my cane but was stopped by Wilson who laid a hand on top of it. I'm not sure if Reginald registered that Wilson had just saved him from a severe kick to his nuts. Wilson loosened the embrace and patted Reginald awkwardly on a shoulder. "This … this is not how we planned this weekend, is it?"

Reginald shook his head and I pushed myself away from the wall and slung my arm back around Wilson's shoulders. "Come on, water is still ascending and I need your help to get upstairs."

Reginald frowned but then decided to act civil. He gesticulated a bit helplessly with his hands and asked, "Do you need help?"

"No," I growled. "Jimmy-boy is helping me. Now let's go and save the heart-to-heart talk for later."

Suspicion seemed to rise in Reginald and I could feel Wilson tensing up. He smiled at Reginald and beckoned him to follow us but only after saying apologetically, "He's not fond of needing help so don't take it to heart what he says."

I had already opened my mouth but he hissed into my ear, "Shut the hell up! Our hotel is flooded and I can't deal with you two having a catfight about me right now. Understood?"

Sure I understood what he said but that didn't mean I'd oblige. "We're not having a catfight."

"No? Did I imagine you lifting your cane when he touched me?"

"That was a reflex. You know, don't touch my toy." That wasn't a smart thing to say as I became aware instantly. His eyes got this cold, distanced look and his lips were pressed together in a tight line. To soften my stupid remark I offered, "Wilson, come on. You know how I react when anyone gets too close to you."

Now his eyes held confusion and his eyebrows shot up questioningly. At the second attempt he was able to talk to me. "That's as close to an apology as you can go, huh? See, you two were having a catfight over me."

A small smug smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and I allowed him to bathe in his victory. I felt the need to clarify and rescue a bit of my dignity though. "I'm not jealous."

"You? Never!"

"_Wilson_! I'm not in the mood for playing games," I growled. I hated it when he called me out, it made me feel incredibly queasy.

He turned towards me, our faces were only inches apart and his breath tickled me. "So am I but that never changed _your_ behavior, did it?"

"Touché," I replied because I couldn't come up with something witty that wouldn't have caused more trouble between us. He was still glaring at me while we stood at the foot of the last stairway, holding onto each other. I was challenged and without further thought I craned my head and kissed him right on one of those amazing dimples. He froze and Reginald behind us let out an explosive gasp.

"_House_!" Wilson was aiming for an angry snarl – I was sure about that from experience – but it came out as an indignant squeak.

Reginald cleared his throat before he approached us. He didn't look very happy. "I'm not keen on getting into a lover's quarrel. I really thought you'd be interested in me, James. I'd never have thought that you were using me to … to what? Get your boyfriend jealous? Get yourself more attention from him?"

Wilson gawked at Reginald as did some other people. I felt pity for Wilson who radiated embarrassment with each pore. His face was flushed and he loosened his grip around me. I watched him shake his head in utter disbelief. He took a step towards Reginald and struggled with a response. Reginald's face was already softening when Wilson brought out the big guns – his puppy eyes. I groaned inwardly as I knew that no one could resist those eyes, not even me.

"No, it's not like that at all. He … he followed me and … and I really wanted, uh, want to get to know you better. Could we … have this conversation after we've been rescued? I'd say we have more urgent matters at hand right now."

I grimaced and let out a theatrically loud sigh which drew everyone's attention to me. Reginald folded his arms in front of his chest, then scrutinized me. Wilson threw quick glances to each of us before he held up his hands between us, as if he was trying to ward off a heated argument. "Could you two please cut it?"

We couldn't fuel his exasperation further because a young mother with her baby and toddler needed help. Everyone ignored her, only Wilson, the knight in shining armor, went to help her. The sudden neediness must have been rather convenient for him. For me it was extremely inconvenient as he lifted up the toddler and put her on his hip. The young girl eyed him out of big eyes for a few seconds before she decided that he could be trusted. He smiled at the girl and the mother and I told Reginald, "We should team up or he'll marry that woman."

Reginald stared at me as if I had just slapped him. He gave up his posture of annoyance and asked me, "That woman has two kids, she's probably married."

I sighed, geez this klutz was dense. Slowly I explained to him, "She's alone here with her two kids now. Wilson thrives on neediness and he doesn't mind kids – don't ask me why. You don't know him as good as you'd like too, huh?"

"I believe that I know James good enough to say that he won't take advantage of a woman."

"He doesn't take _advantage_. Marriages just happen to James Wilson like having diarrhea happens to other people." I shrugged my shoulders, indicating that our talk was finished. Reginald and I were the last ones on the floor and my leg was killing me. I needed help, whether I wanted to admit it or not. Wilson was following the mother with the girl nestled up against his side. I frowned – I needed my Wilson-crutch. "Hey, Wilson! Didn't you forget to help someone?"

He grinned when he looked at me, then at Reginald and then back at me. "Reginald would you be so kind and help House?"


	7. Chapter 7

We probably recoiled at exactly the same point in time and stared at each other with unhidden disgust. I averted my eyes, suddenly feeling weak and vulnerable. I was also angry at Wilson for putting a woman; he had met only a few minutes ago, before me. A cautious pat on my shoulder caused me to look up again. I hated the sympathetic smile on Reginald's face that was accompanied by, "Come on, let me help you. If we don't strangle each other we might be able to impress James."

Replies of various types were sitting on the tip of my tongue but I swallowed them down and nodded. I wasn't keen on touching him but he wasn't shy and holding me tightly he took a lot of my weight on him. He was bigger than I and the difference to Wilson was stunning. In comparison Wilson had felt almost delicate. Sourly I thought that Wilson would love to be in Reginald's arms and have sex with him. Bile rose up within me at the mere thought of Wilson and Reginald together. At least it gave me enough strength to get up the last stairs.

Eventually we were on the roof of our hotel and it was still raining like mad. I collapsed on the floor and kneaded my thigh. I fumbled with the lid on my Vicodin bottle when Reginald asked me, "What are you taking these for?"

I rolled my eyes, "Solely for entertainment reasons. I like to be stoned, want one?"

Repulsion fluttered over his face or maybe I only imagined it. I didn't care; I only needed another pill to get rid of that excruciating pain. Suddenly the rain wasn't pattering down on me as bad as it had been a few seconds ago and I looked at a thoroughly drenched Wilson. His hair was plastered to his face and he was dripping water. Without further ado I held out the bottle and he opened it for me.

"See, I told you it would come in handy that I'm capable of dry-swallowing the pills."

Wilson pressed his lips together so tightly that his lips looked white and bloodless. I blinked because my stomach suddenly made a flip-flop. Images of him lying lifeless on the roof were troubling me so I reacted impulsively. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him close to me. I was lucky that his knees landed exactly between my legs when he lost his balance. Somewhat stunned he looked me straight in the eyes and I'm still sure that I saw hope lurking in his eyes. Hope, that I might change my attitude towards a real relationship between us. His head snapped up when Reginald called him. I glared at this fucking intruder but he obviously had decided that he didn't like me.

"Is this how things work between you? He's playing you! Don't you see that?" he accused with a finger pointing at me.

Wilson blushed and nervously glanced around but everyone was occupied with leaving the rain only a minimal target. Wilson freed his wrist out of my grasp and stood up. Immediately the rain pattered down on me and I was drenched to the bones within minutes. Wilson went over to Reginald but unfortunately I couldn't understand what they were talking about. The rain and the splashing of the water around the hotel combined with their low voices made it impossible for me to eavesdrop on their conversation.

I took great gratification in the fact that Wilson was arguing and gesticulating wildly. They seemed to be having a heated argument which caused Wilson to be very flustered. He finished the conversation with a nod and came back in my direction. He was almost here when Reginald caught up with him. He grabbed Wilson's arm, spun him around and kissed him fiercely on his mouth. Oh, I _hated_ to sit on the floor and not being in any condition to get up without help. I wanted Wilson to slap him, push him away – whatever – just something to make Reginald stop kissing him. He did that but in a much more civilized manner.

Wilson planted his hands against Reginald's chest, then extricated himself out of the embrace. Even through the veil of rain I could spot the redness of his cheeks, how he licked over his lips and rubbed his neck. He was composing himself quickly but didn't look at Reginald at first when he spoke up. "I told you that I don't want you to compete against each other and … and you will not rise in my esteem if you force yourself upon me."

Finally he looked at Reginald and I was about to cheer him on when I registered Reginald's furious face. It was ugly and reminded me of myself about one hour ago. I shook my head – one hour ago we were at least dry. "Hey, cut it out," I shouted towards Reginald. "He doesn't deserve to be treated like that. He truly wanted, or maybe he still wants, to give you a chance so don't ruin it."

Wilson gaped at me with his best saucer-eyed expression while he wiped away the water from his face. Before he could speak Reginald rose to do so, "Hear, hear. I'm not sure that I stand a chance anyway."

Wilson threw his hands up in the air before he let out an exasperated groan, "Could you _stop_? We're trapped on the roof of a hotel in a valley that is flooded by water! Don't you think we have other things to worry about?"

Actually I was worried about our current situation; it was just not my priority. I had just opened my mouth, ready to fire away a fantastically witty remark when people on the roof started to jump up and down while waving frantically with their arms. Everyone seemed to scream for help all at once when a rescue helicopter flew over us. The helicopter flew over us several times and some people began to cry. It was obvious that no one would be rescued right then.

The yells and screams died down to incredulous and defeated whispers and sobs. I looked at Wilson and his crestfallen posture tugged violently at my heartstrings. He was so lost, so exhausted and anxious that I called out for him. I had to take a deep breath when he turned towards me. His bravado was crumbling, like it was for everyone else on the roof too. I beckoned him to come over to me and he obliged without hesitation. He sat down next to me, his arms slung around his knees, radiating helplessness.

"Why didn't they pick up some of us? How are we supposed to leave this place without help?" His whole body was shuddering because he was freezing. I swear that I didn't lay my arm around his shoulders and pull him close to me consciously. He gazed at me confused for a few seconds but then rested his head on my shoulder. We heard Reginald snort and mutter something before he brought as much distance between us as he could. Wilson sighed and said, "I'm not sure he stood a chance either."

I tightened my grip around him, then assured him, "There are too many people here to be rescued by a normal rescue helicopter. They have to call the army for help. Don't worry, as long as the building stands we should be safe here. Incredibly wet but safe."

Wilson chuckled and snuggled his head more comfortably on my shoulder. We kept quiet for a few minutes, then I added, "I don't want you to give anyone else a chance. I … can't promise you anything but … I want to try that … that relationship-stuff. Well, in case you're still interested."

I focused on a puddle between my feet, wanting him to say something but on the other hand I wanted him to say nothing at all. I was terrified about his reaction; I feared his rejection of this would be the one thing I couldn't cope with. Even though I knew that he had to be crazy if he'd take me up on my offer. I still held my breath while I waited for an answer.


	8. Chapter 8

The silence between us stretched out like an eternity. Thousands of thoughts turned somersaults in my head until they came to a halt and I had to face the facts. I had made my decision years too late and couldn't blame Wilson for finally having enough from me. A nudge from his elbow in my ribs startled me and I grunted out an, "Ow!"

"Did you listen to me?"

Listen to him? I hadn't even recognized that he had spoken to me. I was trying to come up with something to save face but he beat me to it. "No, of course you didn't listen to me," he scoffed. "Well, I'm glad you didn't listen as this was obviously another one of those stupid pranks I fell for."

He scooted away from me and I grabbed his upper arm that was nearest to me. "What prank? What are you talking about?"

"House, let go of me!" Wilson began to struggle and I had no fucking clue what went wrong this time. He let me in when he ranted, "Trying that relationship-stuff you said. I should have known that you were lying by the time the word _relationship_ left your mouth."

He freed his arm in an abrupt movement that led me to lose my balance. With a thump I landed face down in a large puddle. I heard Wilson gasp and felt him pull me upright within seconds. I had scared him because he held me while I coughed up a lung. He was biting his lower lip, his whole body was jerking from the shivers that had taken possession of him. Hastily I slung my arms around his torso and pulled him flush against me. I hated all this heart-to-heart talk but I needed him and he needed me to tell him how I felt.

"I meant what I said," I managed to rasp out.

"No, you don't. You just don't like to share me. It's okay House. I should be used to it by now; I mean I've long given up on expecting anything else." I felt his body trembling in my arms and the sudden desire to shake him mercilessly was almost overwhelming. I desperately wanted him to believe me.

I breathed in deeply, then pushed him a tad away but still held on tightly. He averted his eyes and I could see how troubled he was. "Wilson … _Jimmy_ … I meant what I said. _Seriously_. You're right that I don't like to share you, I never did. But … seeing you with … with Mr. Thoughtfulness made me … think and rethink some … stuff."

I really hoped that I didn't have to say more because my mouth already felt dry, my ears were burning and I squirmed restlessly. All the while I attempted to look somewhat collected and self-confident. He sat back on his heels and studied my face for whatever he needed to see and eventually he asked feebly, "_Seriously_? Are you really serious?"

I rolled my eyes, "If a stronger word exists for the meaning of serious than you should tell me but for the time being I'll work with this one." I paused, smirking inwardly over the confused look on his face, then added another, "_Seriously_."

"All it took you to become serious was me dating another _man_?" His head was tilted sideways and his mouth slightly open, revealing the tip of his tongue. "Why is that so different to me dating women?"

"Do you really want an explanation for that?" I asked incredulously.

"Actually, yes I do."

His brutal honesty rendered me into speechlessness once more. I was also distracted by the way his clothes were clinging to him so I licked my lips and replied slowly, "You … you never dated a man before. It didn't even occur to me that you'd want to be together with a man aside from me."

He frowned, crossed his arms in front of his chest and I had to admit that my statement could be interpreted as arrogant. I felt like a fish out of water although if I would have been a fish I'd had plenty of water around me. I was getting distracted by my own mental image so I continued, "I didn't think that you really wanted to be out in a gay relationship, you'd be embarrassed beyond belief if someone called you a _fag_."

I had struck home as he winced perceptibly. I didn't give my statement to humiliate him so I said in a soft voice, "Maybe I just needed to really experience the fear of losing you. I never had that feeling when you married your wives or had your affairs but here … with Reginald … it seemed so different."

He mulled over my words then crawled over to me. I had to strain my ears to hear him say, "You … might be right about being openly gay. I didn't think that far." He paused, glanced at me momentarily before he averted his eyes again. "I guess that you, uh, wouldn't keep it a secret? I mean if we'd try that relationship-stuff?"

"No, James, I wouldn't. So, what do you want now?"

He chuckled nervously and wiped some wet bangs off his forehead. I felt my stomach drop as I waited for an answer – again. He remained quiet but nestled up against me. He was so cold that I began to shiver too. Unsought images of him floating on the water surface, dead and lifeless, popped up in front of my inner eye. For a brief moment I closed my eyes and swallowed hard.

"I want you," he choked finally. "Even though it'll mean that you'll probably put up a sign on my office door that reads 'Property of Gregory House' or something like that."

Something loosened up deep within me and I dropped a kiss on the top of his head. "No," I said. "That isn't my style. I'd get you a tattoo with the same text. Or maybe I'll put bugs in your office so that I always know what you're up to."

I had to hold him very tightly to prevent him from bolting when he rambled, "_Bugs_? No, no, no! You can't put a wire in my office. The talks I have with my patients are confidential and-"

I cut him off. "I'm not going to bug your office, chill out."

He slumped back against my body and muttered, "Jerk."

I grinned and quipped, "Yup, that's me! Want a tactful and attentive boyfriend? Then you should go over to Reginald."

"Nah, I'm okay with taking the jerk that's able to reduce me to a begging mess while he fucks me."

"That's my boy," I told him and petted his hair.

I was so relieved that I was surprised when the other people started shouting and waving their hands again. The crackling sounds of rotator blades caused me to look around. Wilson did the same but I saw the helicopter first. I felt him breathe a sigh of great relief but I didn't share this feeling. There was only one helicopter, a single Black Hawk. It flew over us, obviously counting the people on the roof.

Wilson helped me to get up from the floor even though I didn't want to get up. The rescue had started but we were still going to be stuck on the roof for a while. I brought my mouth close to Wilson's ear to be hearable over the noise. "I think they are estimating how many people they need to rescue. That helicopter can only hold around ten people so I think they'll radio back to their station that they need a bigger helicopter."

"But … but that could take hours! Are there even any military bases nearby?"

"I don't think so. I guess the National Guard and the Red Cross are building up a field hospital right now somewhere in vicinity."

He frowned, then made his 'Oh wow, I'm impressed'-face. "Do you know all that because your father was in the army?"

I simply nodded because the helicopter came back and hovered above the roof. Through a loudspeaker we became informed that bigger helicopters were taking off right now and would be there within 45 minutes. For now the helicopter would take up only seriously injured people. Two of the rescue team jumped out of the hovering helicopter and swiftly checked which people they would take with them. No one was in critical condition, not even broken bones or something like that. Everyone was just scared shitless and freezing. We had been lucky that we hadn't been on the first floor when the reservoir broke. I wondered how many people had been there and died the horrible death of drowning.

I cleared my head with shaking it and watched the rescue team load the few children with their parents on the helicopter. They could only take the very small children but crammed more than 11 people in it. Some parents with their teenage children were begging the rescue team to take their children and from the corner of my eyes I saw that Wilson sympathized with them.

The helicopter took off again, leaving still over 100 people stranded on the roof of the hotel, watching the helicopter turn smaller and smaller until it vanished from our vision completely.


	9. Chapter 9

Some people started to weep, others let out their frustration with ranting and screaming. According to the emotional state of most of us the rain changed from a small abiding drizzle to a heavy, end of the world-rainfall. The splashing of the rain was almost deafening, visibility was down to zero and I was chilled to the bones. I lowered myself to the ground and promptly landed my ass in a large puddle. The whole roof was quickly filling with water and I worried about the stability of the hotel again. Wilson stood for a while next to my outstretched legs but eventually decided that it didn't matter anymore since he was soaked anyway.

He tried to shield his eyes with a hand to get a better view of me but his hand was shaking as was the rest of his body. He had always been prone to freezing easily and I already foresaw him getting a nasty cold with high fever. We had never been physically close that much when there wasn't any kind of sex involved but it seemed we were breaking this pattern. He was curling himself together as good as possible but I tugged at him until he sat between my parted legs. My thigh was throbbing and didn't take the cold too well either. Wilson must have sensed this since he started kneading the muscles around the scar. He was the only one who I had ever allowed to touch me there but I still tensed up as soon as his fingers touched me.

The cramps decreased a bit while he worked on my thigh and I had rested my forehead against his back. It wasn't the most comfortable position because he was constantly moving but on the other hand it felt nice to feel him. He ended his massage after a while and panted exhaustedly. I pulled his back flush against my chest and closed my arms around his legs which he had tucked up under his chin. We must have looked ridiculous – two grown men, soaked and cuddling while sitting in a puddle that was slowly rising inch for inch.

My watch didn't survive the rain and had stopped a while ago. My sense of time was completely screwed up and except for Wilson shivering and shaking in my arms I didn't care about anything. The rainfall had lessened and was now a steady drizzle again. The monotonous pattering was lulling me into sleep so I jerked awake when Wilson began to move.

"Do you hear that?"

I strained my ears and indeed the whooshing sounds of approaching rotator blades could be heard in the distance. Soon we were able to make out the shapes of two huge helicopters, accompanied by a Black Hawk. I narrowed my eyes and after they had come closer I told Wilson, "The big ones are Chinooks, they can take up a lot of people at once. It shouldn't take too long for all of us to be rescued."

"G-Great," he stuttered. I glanced at him and discovered that his lips were turning blue while his teeth chattered violently. There wasn't even a single part of him that wasn't rippling, shaking or jerking. I was shivering too but he was really suffering.

"Come on, you ice ball, help me up. When we're back at my apartment I promise that I'll heat you up."

He shook his head but I could see his dimples showing off, therefore knowing that he was fighting against a smile. "You're insatiable," he moaned.

I faked innocence when I replied, "Huh? Are you talking about sex? I never said a single word about heating you up via sex."

He chuckled and loosened my arms around his knees. "Wipe that innocent expression from your face. I'm okay with you heating me up through sex."

He had lost the fight against a face-splitting grin and I couldn't help but react similarly. He helped me up and I had to lean heavily on him. I was really looking forward to our rescue but shook out a Vicodin anyway.

"Good that the container is waterproof, eh?" I mentioned rhetorically.

He nodded absentmindedly and together we watched the beginning of the rescue action. There was only place for one helicopter to hover over the roof at once and the first one took up the teenagers with parents and elder people. Someone beckoned me to go over there but stubbornly I stayed where I was. Someone else took my place and instead of being grateful that I was still there with him, Wilson began to scold me. I was a bit taken aback, I have to admit.

"_House_! Why didn't you get on the helicopter? Are you out of your mind?"

"I would have been the last one; you would be on the other helicopter."

"Where's the problem with that?"

"We'd be separated," I answered, wondering why I had to explain this circumstance to him.

Wilson tilted his head in confusion, then slowly a grin spread over his face which made me shift uneasily on my feet. He chuckled, then pecked me on a cheek, totally startling me with this action. I groaned when he said, "That's _very_ sweet of you. Not wanting to be without me, that is."

I was a tad embarrassed and mumbled, "Do you even listen to yourself? The way you said it, it sounds cheesy."

He grinned even more and not even my most murderous glare could stop him shuffling from one foot to the other giddily. Fortunately we were interrupted by the first Chinook flying away and the second one starting the rescue. An ear-piercing bang caused everyone to freeze and stare around wide-eyed. The wall of the second reservoir gave way and tons of water flowed down. Within seconds the water level swelled and reached the roof. Panic broke out and everyone ran to the Chinook.

Well, not _every_one. I hated my leg and would hate it even more a few minutes later. Wilson stayed with me and helped me but we were too late. The Chinook took off by the time we arrived there. Only Wilson and I, Reginald and about fifteen other people were left. The Black Hawk approached us which was the point in time where I really began to panic. We were too many to fit in the helicopter. Why didn't they send another Black Hawk? Just as I was thinking this I saw another one flying towards us.

We were wading through knee-deep water and without Wilson I'd never have made it safely to the helicopter. Someone pulled me in the helicopter from the inside and I was calling out for Wilson to follow me when the pilot suddenly yelled, "Oh crap!"

The helicopter soared abruptly but just in time when a huge wave rolled towards us. I was about to tell Wilson how lucky we were when I looked down. He was still standing on the roof when the wave hit him, swirled him around and took him away from me.


	10. Chapter 10

His last look at me will be burned onto my retina forever. He had no chance and him holding his hands in front of himself to ward off the wave was a fruitless attempt.

Everyone on the helicopter was gasping and yelling at the same time. I roared at one of the rescue team to get the hell down there and pick up Wilson but he just laid his hand on my shoulder, obviously thinking this gesture would soothe me. It didn't and I shook it off. Loudly I repeated my demand for the helicopter to go down again and search for Wilson. Someone else supported my demand as he seemed to have lost his wife. I didn't give a fuck about the wife even though I knew that I should at least sympathize a bit. I just couldn't do that, I didn't care about anyone else, only Wilson.

Wilson, who I couldn't see, no matter how much I strained my eyes, no matter how rude I got in my demands. The water had swallowed him and the helicopter I was in, turned around and flew away. I still wonder why they didn't open the door and throw me out because I was totally out of my mind. Someone patted me on a shoulder and told me, "The other helicopter will search for your friend and the other people. But … don't get your hopes up high."

I wasn't sure if this was meant to make me feel worse or make me feel better. As we were flying over the valley that was now filled with water I heard someone saying to me, "Maybe he's alive. If … if he is, the other helicopter will find him."

I looked up and saw a very pale Reginald looking at me. The empty feeling that had settled in my stomach changed into a blazing fire of rage. Why the fuck was he on the helicopter but not Wilson? I was about to ask him that and pointed my shaking finger at him but only gurgling noises escaped my mouth. I was confused and only when a blanket was draped over my shoulders and a tissue was held under my nose I became aware that my face was wet. It wasn't wet because of the rain rather than the rivers of tears that were flowing down my cheeks. I recognized that I was sobbing too.

I averted my eyes, I couldn't see well anyway. I leaned my head against the window and stared out of the helicopter. Under us the surface of the water seemed to rest in a peaceful silence, nothing remained of the valley with the hotel, lakes and forest anymore. It was like a giant lake, imbedded in a valley. The drizzle had stopped and the first sun streak broke through the overcastted sky. It was cruel of the sun to come out now and I only felt the cynicism rise within me. I didn't need the sun or good weather anymore. I'd never feel warm and content anyway. My body felt like ice but that was almost the only thing I felt. I was numb and asked myself if I was seriously a coldhearted bastard because I didn't mourn the loss of my lover.

Not even using the term _lover_ woke up anything inside me. I felt simply nothing. There was a huge hole where my heart had been before and briefly I wondered why I wasn't dead if my heart didn't work anymore. My mind was a mushy fog and thinking coherently was almost impossible. I was reminded that I wasn't dead when a needle pierced my skin and dumbfounded I glanced at my arm. Someone had hooked me on an IV-drip so obviously my dead heart was just a bloomy paraphrase my sub consciousness had used.

_I_ wasn't dead, Wilson was.

I gasped because of a sharp sting in my heart and finally I became aware of the other people around me talking and crying quietly, only interrupted by the whooshing sounds of the rotor blades. Reality crushed back on me with a vengeance, causing me to shudder and shiver violently. I wasn't numb anymore instead every part of my body hurt and screamed in agony. I was probably in shock or nearing a breakdown and all my thoughts kept swirling around the fact that Wilson was dead.

I couldn't imagine my life without him. There would be no banter, no smile, no sex – nothing. My whole world was shattered into tiny pieces and there was no one to pick them up this time. I could only feel pain and loneliness and that would be the only feelings I'd be capable of for the rest of my own lifetime.

I felt as if I was suffocating, the pain clamped around my chest and made it hard to breathe. Someone was asking me questions urgently but I didn't understand a word. Blood was pounding in my head, I felt dizzy and all I could think of was James. Suddenly it dawned on me what he had meant with his remark only hours ago – that Reginald was at least using his first name when he talked to him. It made such a huge difference and I had been too keen on keeping up the status quo to even _try_ to understand his statement. I groaned, then struggled with getting air into my lungs.

A respiratory mask was pressed against my face; someone fumbled around with the IV drip and administered something. I supposed it was a light sedative because soon my breathing evened out and I felt pleasantly uncaring.

The helicopter flew us over the outer wall of the valley to a field hospital. Paramedics and military people helped us getting out of the helicopter. Someone guided me over to a cot since I couldn't walk without support. Hot, sizzling pain shot up from my thigh through my whole body, making it impossible for me to stay on my feet without someone to hold on. I was dimly aware that I had lost my cane which caused me to tear up again. Not because of the cane but because James had bought it for me.

A doctor came to me, examined me quickly and decided that I would be transported to a near-by hospital as soon as an ambulance was free. I got dressed into dry clothes and warm blankets were draped over my shoulders. I looked around and recognized other hotel guests resting on the cots. Most of us had gotten away with a huge scare and different degrees of hypothermia. I didn't want to be there and stare at the young woman with the baby and the toddler, the ones which James had helped upstairs. It was so _fucking _unfair. I knew that bad things happened to good people whether they wanted it or not but this knowledge didn't help me one single bit.

I bit down on my lower lip to prevent myself from screaming at a God I long had given up on believing in. It wasn't right, nothing of this was right. I was supposed to die before him. I got angry at James although I knew that my anger was born out of hurt but why did he have to leave me alone?

I had lost all sense of time and only wanted to get away from this place as soon as possible, wanted to forget about all that happened, wanted to follow James to where ever he was. I hoped that death had at least taken him quickly, that he didn't have to suffer or be afraid for very long. I swallowed hard as I remembered how frightened he had been. I needed to get out of this tent and pulled the needle of the IV drip out of my arm. An ugly orthopedic cane was leaning against my cot but I took it anyway. My leg almost gave out when I stood up. I gritted my teeth and slowly made my way out of the tent, welcoming the searing pain of my leg.

I breathed in the moist air and willed my shaking body to stay upright. A paramedic was trying to talk me into going back but I tuned him out. I couldn't tune out the crackling sounds of the radio units around me. Suddenly everyone turned quiet and listened to the enthusiastic report of the pilot on the second Black Hawk. He radioed back that they had been able to rescue two men and one woman out of the water. All three were unconscious and suffering from a strong hypothermia. One of the men had a large bruise on his forehead and they weren't sure if he had a concussion.

I heard all this and new hope flared up within me. I hobbled into the direction of the landing place for the helicopter while the paramedic followed me. I started when he spoke softly to me, "Your friend might not be in the helicopter."

"But he could be," I croaked out. I felt his eyes soften in sympathy but he didn't ask me to go back again. Instead he tightened the blanket around me and supported me. Finally I saw a tiny point in the horizon which quickly got bigger. I was praying to everyone who'd be willing to listen that a miracle had happened.


	11. Chapter 11

They brought out the woman first, then a man followed. I was crushed when I saw white hair instead of a mop of brown hair and held my breath when the paramedics unloaded the last survivor. I craned my head because I couldn't see much. My heart was hammering in my chest, my mouth was dry and I was trembling in fearful anticipation.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed when I finally noticed the familiar face of James. I didn't have a chance to take a close look because they hastily carried him to the field hospital. I cursed my leg again for turning me into a snail.

The paramedic who had followed me out of the tent was patting my back and helped me to walk back. "It really was your friend?" he asked.

"Yeah."

I couldn't believe it! James was alive but now I was bordering on a panic attack. I hadn't seen much of him but the left side of his face had been bloodied and shown off a large bruise. He had been pale and didn't show any signs of waking up. What if the hypothermia was too severe? I tried to remember if he had shivered but I wasn't sure. I tended towards a 'no' which freaked me out completely. If he didn't shiver anymore he was severely hypothermic. I didn't want to lose him again now that I just got him back.

When we finally reached the tent and found Wilson I saw that they had just cut him out of his wet clothes. I breathed a sigh of relief at seeing him shivering violently. My relief quickly changed into a terrified gasp as I became aware that the shivering occurred in waves – a sign of severe hypothermia. He was in a life-threatening condition and there was nothing I could do. I could only watch and beg for him to survive. I got my hopes up again when they announced his core temperature to be 91 degrees F. It meant that his condition was indeed severe but still treatable.

I watched the medical team place heat packs at his neck, his armpits and his groin. They also hooked him up to an IV-drip with warm fluids before they wrapped him tightly into several blankets. He looked like a mummy, only his face was sticking out. They didn't dare transport him to the hospital as any kind of movement could cause dysrhythmia. They checked his vitals regularly and also his core temperature. The thing that worried me the most was that he didn't wake up. I wondered if he was suffering from a head trauma. I swallowed hard when the unbidden image of him warming up but dying from another injury floated through my mind.

Someone got me one of those hinged chairs and put it up next to his head. It was as uncomfortable as it looked but at least I was in no danger of falling asleep. I was asked to get into an ambulance to be carried away to a hospital but I wanted to stay with James and made myself perfectly clear. It might have been a good idea that James was asleep because the paramedic insisted that I should get in the car. I couldn't think of anything better so I snapped, "Are you in any case homophobic? I have the same rights as the man over there."

I gestured towards the man whose wife they had rescued. Sourly I recognized that she was already talking while she was prepared for a transport to a near-by hospital. The paramedic looked at me in confusion so I lied to him with as much patience I could muster, "The man and the woman over there are married, so there's no question that he's allowed to stay at her side. The same goes for him and me."

I cringed inwardly. I had just turned into the fourth Mrs. Wilson. Oddly enough this thought caused me to smile and I decided that this was actually a nice thought. Thoroughly mushy and absolutely not fitting for me but the near death of the person who meant the world to me had caused my beliefs to shift. In a rather dramatic way, it seemed.

"Oh!" the paramedic exclaimed lamely. He blushed and immediately averted his eyes as well as taking his hands from my shoulders. "I think … I think in this case you … you should stay with … with, um, your h-husband."

"How very obliging of you," I scoffed.

For good measure I glared at him and he hastily scuttled off. James' attending doctor, a small petite brunette smiled at me while she took James core temperature. She whispered, "You scared the poor boy."

"Do I look as if I care?"

"No, you don't. But I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that his core temperature is up to 94 degrees. I'll get an ambulance for him now."

I gave a short nod to indicate that I appreciated her information but still worried about his unconsciousness. I called after her, "Any idea why he's still unconscious?"

"No, I'm sorry." She took a few steps backwards and assured me, "Some people sleep through the warming up process. We didn't find any signs for other injuries."

"Not even the slightest hint for a concussion or any other kind of head trauma?"

"No, but he'll be examined again in the hospital."

She was damn right about that, I'd make sure that he'd get the best examination and treatment possible. Only a few minutes after her departure James got strapped on a stretcher and I hobbled behind it. No one was helping me to walk this time, thanks to blurting our coming-out earlier. I gritted my teeth and followed James more quickly than my leg was comfortable with. I feared they'd leave me here if I wasn't quick enough so I ignored the pain even though I was trembling from exertion.

At least one of the paramedics on the ambulance helped me to get inside. The drive seemed to be endless and James body didn't take it as good as expected. His breathing became labored but evened out with the supply of oxygen via a mask. Sending my reputation and my dignity to hell I began petting his face, murmuring that he should wake up and that he was scaring me. He didn't react to my caresses or my words.


	12. Chapter 12

We arrived at a near-by hospital and no one was interested in helping me out or telling me where the hell they were bringing James. I stumbled through corridors, searching and freaking out again. Everything seemed to be deserted, none of the usual hectic emergency room noises were audible. I stood still and frowned, this was too surreal to be true.

I jerked away when someone slapped me on the back and asked me loudly, "Sir, are you okay?"

I blinked, then stared at the paramedic in front of me. We were still sitting in the ambulance and I had obviously fallen asleep. I nodded while I tried to hide my embarrassment. I was a lousy partner, not even under such dramatic circumstances was I able to be there for James. Maybe I should dump him as soon as possible, give him a fair chance at happiness with Reginald or whomever. I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat, knowing very well that I couldn't live without him.

I let my eyes wander to James' face and stared into those beloved brown eyes. I gasped as it finally registered with me that he was awake. "Oh God, you're awake!"

My voice sounded strangely high and I followed the urge to bend down and dropped a feathery kiss on his forehead. He smiled afterwards. It wasn't a face-splitting one rather than an almost imperceptible one. The oxygen mask still covered his mouth and I cursed it. I wanted, needed to hear him talk. Hear him say whatever in the soft, pleasant timbre that was uniquely him. I had to be content with him locking eyes with mine. I always thought the usage of "his eyes were talking" was a completely schmoozy and unrealistic expression but I swear that his eyes _did_ talk to me. They told me about the terror he had experienced, the confusion about his current condition and the gratefulness for me being there for him. Of course there was the slight chance of me interpreting his gaze as what I wanted to believe.

His eyelids dropped and panic squished my heart together – again. I didn't want him to close his eyes, I didn't want him to sleep because then he'd appear to be dead instead of alive. Since he was wrapped tightly I couldn't detect any movement at all. I doubted that he was capable of coordinated movements anyway but it wasn't only the motionlessness that got to me. Foremostly it was the pallor of his face, the sharp outline of his cheekbones and how his eyes were sunken in his sockets. I wanted to cradle him in my arms like a small child, pamper him and reassure myself that he wasn't going anywhere.

The loud bang of the opened ambulance doors caused me to jump and look around in disorientation. The paramedics wheeled James out of the car and rattled off the statistics about his condition. It had never occurred to me before how clinical the medicinal jargon sounded if you weren't the attending doctor but instead the worried partner.

Instead of being left behind one of the paramedics told a nurse to help me and guide me to wherever they were going to bring James. The pain that shot up from my thigh took my breath away and tears were stinging my eyes, worrying the nurse. I told her that I was used to this level of pain – which was a lie – but I was afraid she might want to get me examined too and that would mean being separated from James. Under no circumstances was I up to that. Silently I vowed to myself to never let him out of my sight again, at least not if I could prevent it. He was going to throw a tantrum about my devotedness later but since I decided that he had no say in this regard this whole point was meaningless anyway.

James got a thorough examination again. How he managed to sleep through most of it was his secret. It also worried me and his attending doctors so I didn't have a hard time convincing them to do an MRI of his head. Of course he had to wake up fully exactly at the moment when the MRI began. I admit that the loud clapping and firing noises could wake up anyone but I didn't think that he'd panic. On the other hand it just proved how little I was able to put myself in his position – waking up in a claustrophobic small tube, not knowing what the hell was going on.

They had to stop the MRI and tried to calm him. His vitals didn't go down one bit and I wondered if he understood what was being said towards him. I ignored the complaints about me not belonging in the MRI room, bellowing that I was a doctor myself and that they were doing a lousy job of soothing him. While I spoke it dawned on me that the soothing-stuff was actually _my_ job not theirs. It made me queasy but hell – it couldn't be _that_ difficult!

I positioned myself on the left side of his head, the side that was unbruised. His eyes were brimming with tears and I could detect fine tremors that were fluttering over his face. He was breathing too fast, too abruptly but I still pried the oxygen mask down. I swept my thumbs over his cheekbones and told him, "You're in a hospital and they are going to do a MRI of your head and chest."

Was this soothing? I guess not but I hoped he'd get a grip on himself. He licked over his lips and in a hoarse voice he asked, "Why?"

I wasn't sure if I had hallucinated him talking or if I had read from his lips. Still, my heart made a few joyful leaps as he was coherent enough to understand the information I'd given him. "Why? Because you were unconscious for hours and should have been awake after your core temperature was up to 96 degrees. You have a large bruise on your face and we want to make sure that you don't have a head trauma."

"Oh," was all he said.

He was still upset but tried to hide it. Not very successfully I might add. I talked one of the nurses into opening the wrap a little bit so I was able to hold his hand. I feared he'd break out in tears at that gesture and muttered, "Don't go all gooey on me now."

"Can I go all gooey on you later when we're alone?"

My attempt at a warning glare must have looked ridiculous because a chuckle escaped his mouth. Unfortunately the chuckle merged into a throaty cough, setting my inner alarm bells off instantly. I had just opened my mouth to tell the nurses that they should do an MRI of his chest too when he cut me off. "No, House. No MRI of my chest is needed. I'm pretty sure it's normal to cough a bit after almost drowning."

I begged to differ but the words 'almost drowning' threw me off the loop. I shoved the images of James drowning aside and faked an innocent and wounded look. "Why won't you ever call me by my first name, _honey_?"

Some of the nurses turned around, pressing their hands over their mouths to cover their giggles but James didn't have his hands free to hide his open mouth. His eyes went wide and a healthy red flourish settled on his face. He rolled his eyes and groaned when a chuckle bubbled up within me. He all but growled, "Get my head examined and then I want to be freed out of this … this … what is it? Blanket? So that I can smack you properly."

With a nod and a grin I beckoned the nurses to push his head back in the tube. He was able to bitch and speak complete sentences, everything seemed to be okay. I still held his hand when the MRI was finished and kept doing it while we waited for the results.


	13. Chapter 13

It took the doctors an impudent amount of time to look at the pictures and finally grace us with their presence. James had dozed off again which worried me and also gave me too much free time that I filled with taking in every detail of his face and memorizing the texture of his skin. I wasn't coping well with everything that had happened the last hours if the sentimentalism I was drowning in was any indicator.

I jumped when a doctor came to us and in doing so I jostled James' hand. At least that caused him to pry his beautiful brown eyes open. See? I was thinking about his eyes _again_, even in a term of endearment. On the other hand … I was simply stating the obvious and it wasn't as if I'd said it aloud.

"Took you long enough," I growled at the young man that appeared to be James' attending doctor. I was about to ask him if he was fresh out of his diapers but of course James had to stop the fun by interrupting me.

"_House_," he hissed. Accompanied with the mention of my name – my last name, to be precise – was a murderous glare. I wasn't easy to intimidate, especially not by my dorky but handsome looking lover but … I didn't want to piss him off further so I complied with the unspoken warning.

The baby-faced doc eyed us curiously before he quickly rattled off information. There were no signs of a head trauma and overall James had been very lucky. He had some bruises here and there but his core temperature had gone up to a level where he was only suffering from a light hypothermia. The doc left with telling us that James should stay a few days in the hospital for observation. James smile faltered instantly and for a split second I thought he'd break out into tears. He turned his head towards me, obviously waiting for me to say something. I wasn't pleased with the prospect of him – and me – in a foreign hospital but I was also not going to take any risks with him.

"House? I don't want to stay here for a few days, I wanna go _home_," he whined. In a somewhat heartrending way. Grown men shouldn't be capable of whining in such a manner. Well, grown men shouldn't sympathize when another man whined – at all. Yet, there I was, feeling my face soften and stroking his hand with more pressure. I sighed; after all this wasn't _any_ other man, this was _James_.

"You're still slightly hypothermic and you were in a very, very bad condition. It's a miracle that you're alive." My voice broke on the word miracle and he caught that. He tilted his head sideways a tad, inspecting me closely. I felt uncomfortable with the thorough inspection so I went on, "We have to be sure that you're recovering fully and you need to be monitored closely. You know that."

His eyes filled with tears and he turned his head away from me. He was biting his lower lip, showing off his dimples and his whole demeanor ripped heavily at my heart. His chest heaved up and down rapidly and his vital signs shot up. "If you don't want some strangers seeing you cry you should calm down. The alarm will go off any second."

He jerked his head back towards me and I was taken aback by the anger and the single tear he couldn't hinder from spilling over. In a clipped voice he told me, "I want to go home, _now_. Get them to release me."

Slowly I shook my head. Where had my level-headed friend gone? "No, I won't do that."

The hand I was holding slipped out of my grip and curled into a fist while the alarm went off, causing nurses to rush in. They shoved me aside and I watched James flush to the roots of his hair. One of the nurses wiped away the tears with a tissue and I swear that he tried to glide further down in the blanket. It took them a while to make sure that everything was okay with him. They also took the opportunity to wheel him into a private room, giving him and me some space.

After they'd left he stared out of the window and didn't react when I addressed him. I blame my exhaustion and fear for my sudden outburst when I rounded the bed. "I'm talking to you! Don't act like a petulant toddler, I won't go away if you ignore me and in case this thought never grazed your mind – I thought you were _dead_!"

Apprehensively he turned his face to me, almost breaking my heart with the look of terror on his face. Swiftly I glanced at the monitors only to see his vital signs rushing to alarm-level again. "Want me to adjust the monitors so that we can talk without the alarm going off every minute?"

He struggled with a decision but eventually he nodded. I made the adjustments and sat down on the edge of his bed. The nurses had loosened the wrap a bit so that he could free his hands if he wanted. I slipped my hand into the wrap and grabbed his wrist. I felt his blood pulsate and wondered why he was so upset. Softly I prompted, "James? What's going on? You _know_ that it'd be irresponsible of me or anyone else to release you from the hospital now."

He teared up again and averted his eyes. He was scaring me because I didn't understand his behaviour at all. All I wanted to do was to dance a happy dance - metaphorically speaking of course - since he was alive and not injured. Clearly I was missing something. My hands were trembling lightly from the effort of acting in a tender way to not startle him. Cautiously I cupped his face in my hands and turned it towards me. He wasn't pale anymore; his cheeks were flushed and his eyes became puffy while he fought to even out his breathing.

He licked his lips before he spoke up, "I thought … I thought I was going to die. There was … was so much water. _So much_ of it – everywhere."

He was gasping for air in between and I wanted to cradle him in my arms. I couldn't do that since he was still wrapped and the heating pads needed to stay in the right position. He was holding my hand now and almost crushed it. He hiccupped once and then went on, "I want to feel _safe_, House. I want to sleep in my _own_ bed, in my _own_ apartment, not having to worry about other people pitying me when I start to wake up screaming from nightmares. Which I, without doubt, will experience."

"I can't believe that after a near-death experience you're still worried about your reputation."

"That's not the only thing I'm worried about. I know that you feel uncomfortable when people get emotional. No, scratch that, you loathe having to deal with emotions and if we stay here you might feel forced to be at my side although you'd rather do something else like-"

I cut him off with a shouted, "Stop it!"


	14. Chapter 14

He stopped but now I faced a scowling James. Usually people would duck their heads when I raised my voice but it was lost on him. Probably one of the reasons why we got along so well though it was rather inconvenient at that particular moment. His face had turned into a mask and I knew damn well that he wouldn't let me close to him any time soon if I gave him permission to shut me out completely.

"You make me sound like a total asshole and you do _not_ know that you'll have nightmares," I told him." I aimed for a responsible talk but I already had decided that I'd play the guilt card if he wasn't playing along.

He became flustered and squirmed in the wrap. He defended his words against me. "I … I didn't mean to make you sound like an asshole but you … you don't like to be in the near proximity of someone who'll turn into a fountain of splashing tears. I'm relatively sure that this is what I'll be during the first nights. That's how I was after I almost drowned as a kid. I … I told you about that … incident."

I couldn't hide a smile when he talked about himself as a fountain of splashing tears. "A fountain of splashing tears? There's no way for you'll get rid of me now. I _have_ to see that!"

He sucked in his lower lip though he didn't do it because he was prone to tears rather than because he was prone to burst out into laughter. I took this as a good sign and bent down and kissed him on his forehead. His skin felt cool underneath my lips which sent unbidden images through my mind. To distract myself I trailed a path of little kisses down his face. I felt him exhale and inhale sharply while he fought against the urge to giggle. When I was near his ear I whispered, "Just because you had nightmares when you were a kid doesn't mean that you'll have them now too."

He prepared to argue with me but I hushed him by laying a finger across his lips. We locked eyes and the fear and uneasiness I detected in his were almost too much for me. I took in a deep breath before I said earnestly, "Just to get this straight – you will stay in the hospital for as long as it is necessary, no matter what you say. Also, I'm here for you. Yes, I know that I'm not comfortable with comforting someone else. Hell, I don't even know how to comfort myself so how am I supposed to know what someone else needs. But, and that's the bottom line here, I _love_ you. Only hours ago you told me that you wanted me, that you wanted a … a relationship. We agreed on that and if I'm not mistaken this means sometimes doing things we don't like very much."

He was mulling over my words, clearly shaken up by them. I was shaken up by the sheer amount of words that had spilled out of my mouth, all regarding stuff I usually avoided like the plague, too. Geez, I had even used the _l-word_! He frowned and slowly phrased his question, "You … are willing to put up with me crying?" He gave a short laugh, then continued, "Oh come on, House! After I wake you up for the second time you'll be ready to kill me. I appreciate your effort though."

He appreciated my effort? I felt the blood pump faster through my system and the alerted expression on his face told me that this fact didn't go unnoticed by him. I watched him swallow while I willed myself to keep cool. I stood up, then pulled at his wrap until he was resting more on the left side of the bed than the middle. Questioningly he asked, "House? What are you doing?"

"For fuck's sake, _James_! It's _Greg_ not House!" At least this outburst got his full attention. He stared at me out of big eyes – big irritated and fearful eyes, one looking straight at me while the other one fixated a point behind me. I climbed onto the bed, settled on my side and swept my thumb repeatedly over his cheekbone. "You are not getting rid of me. I know that you're afraid that I'll humiliate you for crying later and I also know that you want to get me off your back because you'll think of yourself as a wimp."

I had scored with my last remark as he couldn't suppress a flinch. He closed his eyes and nuzzled his cheek in my palm. I watched him and waited until he was ready to say, "I don't want you to regret your decision because of me having crying fits in the nights."

I waited even longer until he opened his eyes. It was dark outside and only a dim light illuminated the room. His pupils were blown up in the semi-darkness, giving him an exotic touch. I shifted on the bed and pressed my lips against his. I was gentle, almost chaste at the beginning and only changed my approach when I felt him respond with sudden hunger. We broke apart panting and I rested our foreheads against each other. No, I wasn't keen on having to cope with his nightmares, not at all. The memories of the feeling of utter loss and loneliness I had experienced earlier this day made the prospect of fitful sleep much more bearable.

"I'd rather hear you cry and scream because of a nightmare than to never hear anything from you again," I told him. My voice sounded broken, hoarse, laden with too many emotions. I didn't care anymore that I felt vulnerable with showing him how much he meant to me. Things had changed in the last 24 hours in a fundamental way and I actually embraced those changes. Well, I embraced James and that felt wonderful.

He had just croaked a "Thank you" and smiled this irresistible deep dimple smile that I believed was solely reserved for me when we heard a knock on the door just a split second before Reginald burst through the door.


	15. Chapter 15

"James, thank God you're okay. You-"

Obviously that was the moment in which he recognized that his dear James was not alone. Didn't he get the memo that he was out of the picture? I was confused, hadn't he been the one who said that he never stood a realistic chance anyway? Maybe he had hoped that James would welcome him with open arms. Oh scratch that, James arms were still trapped in the blankets.

All my thoughts had distracted me from listening to what they were saying so I was rather surprised when James hissed in my ear, "_Greg_! Would you _please_ stop glaring at Reginald? He's just trying to be nice."

I rolled my eyes and was sure that James hated to be restricted in his movements by the blankets. It was good for me because his elbows were bordering on needing a weapon certificate. Reginald had sat down on the edge of James' bed with his rear end pressed against James' pelvis. I sat up abruptly, got down from the bed and limped over to the visitor chair. I dragged it behind me and placed it next to James' bed, beckoning Reginald to sit down there with a pointed hand gesture.

For a short moment I thought he wouldn't follow my invitation. He complied when James' said, "Reginald? I hope you don't mind sitting in the chair because otherwise Greg's caveman instincts will overrule all of his remaining manners."

I blinked and Reginald snickered. Indignantly I replied, "For someone who just had a near-death experience you're awfully cheeky."

His lips quirked until they were stretched into an almost face-splitting grin. I scowled at him for good measure before I reassumed my position next to him. Possessively I slung an arm around his upper body and scooted as near as possible to him. He didn't seem to mind that much; I could feel his body relax underneath my arm. Reginald on the other hand tensed up and stared at my arm in a mixture of sadness and anger. I only listened half-heartedly to their little chit-chat and was surprised when Reginald got up and held his outstretched hand in front of me.

"I'd be lying if I said that it was nice to meet you but I'm happy for James that things seemed to work out between you two. In case you think about dumping him or not taking good care of him – always rethink your decision because I'd be honored to take up your place." His eyes gleamed with barely hidden frustration and jealousy and I believed his words immediately.

"No chance," I replied and quickly shook his hand.

He turned towards James and his face softened. I _almost_ felt pity for him. He bent down and softly kissed James on his forehead. My initial reaction was to lash out. How dare he touch _my_ lover? For whatever reason I kept myself in check and told myself to not do anything stupid. Reginald's face hovered inches above James' and I heard him whisper, "I really wish you'd given me a _real_ chance. I'm sure we could have had a good time together."

I watched James' eyes grow wider. Guilt and shame was printed in bold glittering letters all over his forehead and I feared that he'd fall for Reginald's pity-tour. I breathed a sigh of relief when he answered in a rather high-pitched but nonetheless steady voice, "I … I'm sorry Reginald. It wasn't my intention to mislead you. I … I did want to give you a real chance but … but I _love_ House, uh, Greg. I tried to get away from him for … for different reasons but it had never worked before and it didn't work this time either."

He was wetting his lips with his tongue so I took the chance to chime in, "He means that I was the one who didn't let him as close as he wanted to get but thanks to you and …," I cleared my throat because whenever I said _near-death experience_ I felt as if I was suffocating. "And his near-death experience, my eyes got opened. Now get the hell out of his face."

He recoiled because I might have raised my hand simultaneously with my words. I ignored James' snarl of "Greg, for heaven's sake!" and glowered at Reginald until the very same gave up, wished us a good life and left the room.

I might have been just a tiny bit smug and James had to address it of course. "Wipe that triumphant smile from your face. Your possessiveness is … is …"

He trailed off while he searched for the appropriate vocabulary. I shrugged my shoulders and supplied, "It is something you love dearly about me though you'd never admit it."

He frowned at me, tilted his head in his 'Are you _fucking_ crazy?' kind of way and told me, "You're … _insane_."

"Tsk, tsk, better watch your mouth, young man. I can do whatever I want to you now and you couldn't fight me off." I used my most devilish grin from my widely ranged repertoire but instead of frightening him it caused him to chuckle.

"Geez, you look _so_ silly with that face you're pulling!"

I bristled at his comment and slipped my hands into the wrap. He was the most ticklish person I've ever met and I used my knowledge thoroughly. Unfortunately we got distracted by two nurses rushing in. The monitor had gone off again and he was still giggling and gasping for air while tears of laughter rolled down his cheeks. It took the nurses a while to understand what happened. The elder one grinned broadly whereas the younger one seemed to be seriously pissed off. She snarked at James and me which sobered him up in a blink of an eye. Needless to say she wished to never have met me only two minutes later. Also needless to say that James' face had a lobster-like color.

The elder nurse got him some clothes and helped him to go to the bathroom. With my help she settled him back into bed and exchanged the bag with nutrition. Suddenly my stomach rumbled loudly and she – her name tag identified her as nurse Livia – ordered the other nurse to get me some soup and bread. That woman was damn nice. I turned on my charm and talked her into getting a second bed in the room. As much as I'd have loved to hold James in my arms the whole night, this was impossible. The beds were too small and I also had to think about my leg.

My charm worked and an hour later I was fed and watched James sleep. Even though he didn't want it at first, he was again wrapped in several blankets with heating pads lying at the important body parts. The wrap was more loose this time and he was still hooked up to several monitors. He had been reluctant to try going to sleep but I talked him into it.

I was just dozing off when the alarm went off for the first time with James screaming and thrashing around in bed.


	16. Chapter 16

I called his name but he didn't react. Nurses rushed into our room and tried to soothe him. He fought against the blankets and tears streamed down his face as he whined and whimpered. His words were uncomprehendable at first and the persistent bleeping of the monitors didn't help in understanding him any better. I got out of my bed and hobbled over to him. His face was red and sweaty and to top this he had a snotty nose. He was kicking within the wrap and finally I understood that he was captured in a nightmare where he was drowning. I ordered the nurses to loosen the wrap a bit and finally my words got through him.

The look he gave me when he came awake was so raw, conveying so many emotions that it caused my heart to stumble for a few beats. I told the nurses to get out, that he'd only had a nasty nightmare. Reluctantly they left after a few minutes. James was thoroughly embarrassed but I didn't feel any urge to tease him. I just sat on the edge of his bed, brushed the sweaty strands of hair out of his face and stroked ceaselessly over his cheeks. He didn't say a word and was tense for a long time. Slowly and gradually he relaxed and I never stopped with my ministrations.

I stayed even when he had dozed off again and watched him sleep. Sometimes it came in handy to be an insomniac. He became restless soon afterwards so I prepared myself to stay at his side during the next nightmare. At least he had been right about a night full of discomfort lying ahead of him. I wanted to wake him up before the next nightmare hit him full force but I must have lost myself in thoughts as he suddenly screamed and the alarm went off again.

Livia and the younger nurse rushed into our room again. I wanted to tell them that I was able to handle this situation on my own but truth to be told I was _scared_. James' eyes were wide open but he didn't react, just flailed around with his arms and gave the most pitiful whimpering noises I've ever heard. He was gasping for air and the younger nurse – which I eventually identified as nurse Marion – put an oxygen mask over his mouth. James' eyes went wide in shock and he tried to tear the mask away from his face. He fought against the nurses hands and soon mine too. All his struggling had disconnected the monitors and blood was running down his arm where the IV-drip had stuck.

"He thinks he's drowning! Get that mask from his face!" I yelled.

Marion just looked at me as if I'd gone crazy and I put her on my list of most hated people. I jumped into action and ripped the mask away from his face. He gasped and coughed and I wasn't sure what do now because he was still fighting against us. Seeing him smear blood all over his body and hearing him whimper in fear helped me to make a decision. I embraced him from behind, held him close and spoke quietly into his ear. At first I thought he would lash out but instead he reacted almost instantly; whether it was my voice or the slow rocking motions, I didn't know.

When he was aware of his surroundings again and I thought it to be safe enough to release him I snapped at that Marion-brat, "Make yourself useful and get a washcloth and a fresh tube and needle for the IV-drip."

I sealed our mutual dislike with this comment. She froze but nodded and went to the small bathroom that was attached to our room. I didn't have time to bask in my victory because Livia laid a hand on my shoulder and very quietly told me to leave the room for a while. I was confused and shook her hand off. "Why would I do _that_?"

James was a picture of misery. He had drawn up his knees under his chin and pressed his face against them. He had curled himself together in the smallest package possible but he was still shaking violently. My gaze wandered lower and I took in a deep breath. I turned to him and petted his hair but he recoiled from my touch. His lower lip was quivering, his eyes red-rimmed and his voice high-pitched when he yelled, "Get the fuck away from me!"

I was … well, let's say I was _stunned_. His nightmare obviously had caused him to lose control over his bladder and I understood that he was incredibly embarrassed but I didn't want to leave him. "James, I-"

"_House!_ Get out!"

Okay, now I was _hurt_. I was also exhausted beyond belief. The last hours didn't leave me unfazed – on the contrary. Silently I turned around and shuffled out of the room. I felt his gaze on me and could already hear the guilt-processors of his brain jumping into high gear. I decided that he deserved to stew for a while in his own juices.

Almost an hour later Livia and Marion were finally finished. I tapped a staccato on the floor with my cane and growled, "What took you so long?"

I wanted to add a silly joke about James family jewels but figured that they wouldn't appreciate it. Oh my, I was _mellowing_.

"We had to clean your friend, get a fresh bed, put linen on it and also had to hook him up to the monitors and an IV-drip again. That doesn't happen in five minutes. Especially not with someone who's as mortified as your friend is. He told us that you might want to sleep in a different room which could be rather difficult to arrange right now. But if you want I could try," Livia offered.

"Hell no! I'm perfectly fine with this room." I got up from the cheap plastic chair in the hall and winced when my leg complained about the lack of rest. Marion took off with the soiled linen and Livia closed the distance between us. She smiled at me and told me, "Be gentle. I'm aware that you don't actually want to leave him but he's _really_ ashamed."

I nodded and went into our room. The light was off but moonlight streaked into our room and illuminated it in a dim glow. James was lying on his side, facing away from me, pretending to be asleep. I shook my head and crawled into bed behind him. I put the bed rail up behind me and felt James curl himself up more tightly while he also ducked his head. I weaseled my way under the top blanket and embraced him from behind. I sighed in contentment – his ass molded perfectly against my pelvis. I was distracted in my thoughts which included all kinds of naughtiness when he mumbled, "I'm not sure if I can _ever_ look at you again."

"Because you wet the bed twice within a few weeks? Oh wait, the first one was my sofa, not a bed."

He flinched which gave me the clue that my statement needed more elaboration. "James, don't be embarrassed. That could've happened to anyone."

"I never took you for a platitude-throwing guy." He paused, then added, "I'm not embarrassed, I'm something between humiliated and mortified."

He trembled in my arms and I pressed myself harder against his back. He gave a short gasp and I whispered into his ear, "You had a nightmare after a near-death experience, don't be ridiculous. There's also no need for you to be ashamed in front of me. I mean, you've found me lying in a puddle of vomit and totally sloshed."

"But at least you kept a little bit of dignity with maintaining control over your bladder. God, I want to hide into a deep hole and _never _crawl out of it again."

"You'll get over it," I told him. "Try to go back to sleep, I'll keep you company. Maybe me being in bed with you will at least dampen the nightmares."

"But-"

I cut him off with saying, "This is not up for discussion."

He sighed but I interpreted it not as a sign of annoyance rather than one of approval. I was proved right when he craned his head backwards and demanded to be kissed. I grinned and pushed my crotch lightly against his butt. "See, you're already able to look at me again."

He smirked and snuggled closer to me. Finally we both drifted off to sleep. The night wasn't very restorative because he was fidgety but at least he didn't slip into another violent nightmare.


	17. Chapter 17

James core temperature was up to normal the next day. He still felt weak and looked like crap though. I agreed with the doctors to keep him for observation for two more nights which at first led to James not talking to me and then after some nagging from me to James yelling at me. In the end I told him that he was acting like a petulant teenager and that two more nights wouldn't hurt him. He disagreed with the words, "They will hurt – particularly the last tiny bit of dignity that I've left."

"Dignity is totally overrated anyway."

He glared at me while he wrestled his way out of the blankets. "I want clothes. How do we get real clothes? I will _not_ stay here in this … this flimsy piece of garment."

I rolled my eyes at his statement, only he would throw a fit about appropriate clothing. I thought the hospital gown was just right. He couldn't hide much of his body with it and seeing much of his body naked was always good in my book. I smirked when he fiddled with the gown to hide his nether regions. Of course he had to see that smirk and snapped, "What's so funny? Why do you have scrubs to wear and I don't?"

"Livia, the nurse from yesterday got them for me. My clothes were dirty and reeked. Want me to try to get some for you too?"

"Yes!" He looked at me hopefully but then frowned. "Would you really do that? Why are you so nice?"

"Would you rather go to the nurse's station in your _flimsy garment_ and ask yourself?"

"Um, no, I … it's just …," he trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck.

I hauled myself up from the bed and walked towards the door, still using the ugly orthopedic cane. I glowered at it and said, "I need a new cane. Oh, and I won't repeat that you scared the shit out of me and that I don't mind acting a tad more civil than usual."

I was already at the door when he called out for me. "Greg? I know a good shop for a new cane."

I turned my head and smiled at him before I nodded and left the room. I talked another nurse into getting scrubs for James. He rewarded me with a face-splitting grin and his tongue doing a deep exploration of my mouth. I grinned; being nice had its benefits.

The next night was filled with another violent nightmare but at least he retained control over his bladder. Unfortunately he cried like a baby afterwards so I crawled into his bed again. He slept better when I spooned up behind him and although it was cramped I didn't feel like complaining.

The night before we were getting released from the hospital – well, I could have gone earlier but James would probably have signed his release papers then too – I got into his bed directly. We were snuggled under the thick blanket and I had draped my front tightly against his back. He had taken a shower earlier and I rubbed my nose into his fresh smelling hair. He shifted on the bed and pressed his butt more firmly against my crotch, causing me to breathe heavily. We were only separated by the thin layers of our scrubs and my dick reacted rather strongly. I tried to talk myself out of this erected state because I doubted that James was keen on any kind of sex but all his squirming made it _really_ difficult. Even though I was doubtful I had also come to bed prepared.

"It would be easier to go to sleep if you were lying still," I admonished him.

"I don't really want to sleep."

"Care to explain to me why we are lying in bed then? We could watch TV instead."

"You said that it was time to go to sleep, not me."

I sighed heavily and kissed his neck. "Scared of having another nightmare, huh?"

He gave an almost imperceptible nod and tilted his head forward to expose more of his delicious neck to me. In between kissing and nibbling there I pondered aloud, "We need to relax you."

He was a bit breathless when he replied, "Any suggestions?"

I kept kissing and nibbling at his neck while my hands began to roam over his chest and his belly. I was just slipping my hands under the fabric when he laid his hands on top of mine, stopping me in my ministrations. "Greg, stop. Not … not here. We don't have to add another embarrassing situation with a nurse catching us in the act."

I didn't want to push him into something he was uncomfortable with but as I quickly brushed a hand over his front I felt his apparent interest. I smirked confidently while I slipped my hands into his pants and told him, "You just have to be quiet."

He snorted at that and attempted to swat my hands away. I bit down on his throat to distract him which was a successful move. He moaned low in his throat and I quickly grabbed his wrists in one hand while my other hand fondled his balls. When it registered with him what was going on he insisted, "_Greg_! Damn it, I said _no_."

My confidence crumbled so I only swept my thumb over his engorged shaft and heard him take in a shuddering breath. I released his wrists, propped myself up on an elbow and kissed him on his mouth. "Not even a bit fooling around? Oh, _please_!" I whined.

He stared at me for what seemed like an eternity but then I discovered the first hint of a smile. He tugged at me until I was pressed flush against his back again and reached backwards to free my own erection. I gasped and chuckled when he said, "It might … might help me to relax."

I really love that about him. That you could _always_ count on him thinking with his dick, that is. I grinned while I teased his nipples and meanwhile pressed my dick against the crack of his butt. My other hand stroked his shaft in a slow pace and soon he was breathing heavily.

He was so distracted by my hands obviously doing some wonderful things to his body that I was able to uncap the small tube of lube that I had stolen earlier today. He tensed up when I applied some of it around his anus. "Hey! We agreed on fooling around! Where did you get lube from? Wait – is this even lube?"

He sure was a blabbermouth sometimes! I assured him, "This counts as fooling around and you don't want to know where I got the lube from. Oh, by the way, yes, I'm using lube. We don't want to harm your precious ass, do we?"

"You planned that!" he accused me. He was about to turn around but I prevented him of doing so by shoving two fingers up his ass, causing him to groan and close his eyes. "You … you … ah, _fuck_!"

"As you wish my dear!" Swiftly I scissored my fingers within him and was rewarded with watching him fall apart. When he was as ready as he could be we both had kicked off our pants and I spooned up behind him again. I was positioning my dick at his entrance when the door of our room opened and a nurse approached our bed.


	18. Chapter 18

I feared that James would give us away and thus die of embarrassment which of course meant that I would have to wait until we got home to have proper sex. That was completely out of the question because I was aching all over, aching with a desire that I had never experienced before. I longed to be united with him, to feel him around me, to claim him as mine and _only_ mine.

One of my hands was resting above his heart and I felt it hammer underneath my palm. Still, we both managed to breathe evenly and pretended to be asleep. I was relieved that we were covered with the blanket and that our pants were balled together under our feet, hopefully also covered with the blanket. The nurse's clothes rustled while she checked with a small penlight if everything was okay. I was grateful that James wasn't hooked up to any monitors or IV-drips anymore. She left and the door closed with a hushed click.

James' tense posture gave way to a relieved sigh. "That was close."

I gave his butt a playful slap and asked, "Do you want to stop?"

He had no chance to answer my rhetorical question as I lifted up his leg to spread him and pushed just the tip of my dick into him. I groaned against his shoulder and shuddered. It _always_ took me by surprise how marvelous it felt to finally be inside him. Simultaneously we pushed against each other, forcing him to take me in with one powerful move. I was sheathed in hot, moist tightness and felt my dick already twitching.

"Don't you dare stop it _now_," James panted and I complied eagerly.

I couldn't suppress a chuckle when he nestled himself even closer to me, causing me to penetrate as deep as possible in our current position. The spooning-position only allowed me to rock my hips gently back and forth. It was far away from our usual fucks and suddenly realization hit me with vigor. I kept still but was too jumbled to speak.

James squirmed in my embrace, presumably getting irritated by my silence and stillness. He asked, "Greg? Is everything okay?"

"I just had an epiphany."

"What? _Now_? I didn't even know you're working on a case!"

"I'm not working on a medicinal case."

I saw James frowning when he craned his head backwards as far as possible. "Um, what?"

He clearly couldn't read my mind although I sometimes could have sworn that he was psychic. "I had an epiphany about you … and me. That makes it _us_ then, huh?"

His eyebrows were drawn together even closer as he tried to comprehend my words. "Sorry, but what the hell are you talking about?"

"I _love_ you and have wasted a lot of time by insisting to be just friends with benefits. Did I ever make love to you? No, I think I only fucked you and I guess it's time for a change." I didn't even know that I could talk _that_ fast but I almost stumbled over my own words.

I lifted his upper leg a tad more, shifted my pelvis and pressed even deeper into him. He gasped as I brushed over his prostate and began to tremble in my arms. He was fumbling for words and eventually responded with, "I … I don't know what to say."

His voice gave away how much my admission had meant to him and I was proud of having said it. To not up the mushiness-factor too much I told him, "I only want to hear you moan my name or compare me to God anyway."

James actually giggled at that. Although I hated it when grown men giggled it didn't bother me at all. On the contrary it made me feel warm and oddly enough loved. I didn't want to psychoanalyze myself further so I trailed kisses over his neck and nipped at his earlobe.

I glided in and out of his welcoming body all the while whispering words of endearment and encouragement into his ear. I took my time and worshipped his body like I never did before. It was amazing how much of a difference the slowness and gentleness made – for me and obviously for him too. I always had been aware that he had enjoyed having sex with me but he had always kept himself in check.

At that moment he was completely losing it. He was beautiful like this, whimpering and emitting soft, needy moans. In between making those delicious noises he managed to tell me that he loved me, wanted me. His words made me dizzy and normally I'd have expected me to run away screaming. Yet, I was there and _loved_ every fucking second of it. Loved to hear him moan my name, loved to feel his quivering muscles underneath my hands, even loved to hear him sob when his climax hit him hard.

He whimpered while I finished too, riding out my own climax within him. He gasped and shivered when I jumped over the edge with a hard shove and intertwined our hands above his chest. It was such a dorky gesture of love that I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Is it important to add that I also smiled like an idiot and pulled him as close to me as was humanly possible?

Later that night we both had cleaned up and wore our scrub pants again. I was lying on my back with James curled around me. Our little _encounter_ had been hours ago and he was sound asleep most of the time. The one nightmare that was about to built up I could ward off with murmuring that I was here, that he was okay, that I was protecting him. I wondered if he believed me or if he just reacted to my warm body, providing some kind of shelter.

The morning was already dawning when I felt sleep creep up on me. I felt content with James sleeping in my arms and hoped that we'd be able to make a real relationship work.


	19. Chapter 19

_Epilogue – Three months later_

We still bicker around and also annoy each other on a daily basis with our unique quirks and boy, do we have some weird quirks! Yet, everything is totally different.

James had moved in with me only a few days after our return. The valley is now dry again but no one wants to rebuild the hotel or even camp there. The reservoirs got destroyed completely and the mention of that particular area alone led to James shivering. He still wasn't over his near-death experience and I had to coerce him into seeing a shrink for his ongoing nightmares.

Usually I'd have shrugged his problems off and told myself that he was an adult and therefore should know what's best for him. I'd also never have wanted to put up with any kind of emotional stress of his. This time however I was the prime example of patience and understanding. Again and again I told him that I only wanted him to get better and that he wasn't getting better without seeking professional help. In the end – even my patience was exhausted after _weeks_ of waking up in the middle of the night because of James crying in his sleep – I simply tricked him into his first appointment.

I feared that he'd turn on his heels when realization dawned on him but fortunately the shrink, Matthews, greeted him right at the moment when he was going to bolt. I waited for him in the designated area and assured myself that I had done the right thing. The glares he had shot towards me before he followed Matthews had left me a tad uneasy.

I felt even more uneasy when he didn't speak to me for _hours_ afterwards. No matter how much I prodded, nagged or baited him he simply kept his lips sealed. Still, I'm the master of annoying anyone to the point where they explode and James was no exception.

"Why the hell does it bother you so much? I can sleep on the sofa if you can't stand to be disturbed from your precious sleep!" he yelled at me. He was standing in front of me, his face red from anger and his hands balled to fists. I watched his carotid pulsate wildly while he struggled to keep up his composure.

He actually whimpered in frustration when I simply pulled him in a close embrace and whispered, "It's not about that. It hurts me when I see the panic in your eyes when you wake up in the middle of the night. It hurts me to hear you whimper and whine in fear when you sleep and it hurts me to watch you kick and flail around in bed. I only want you to get better. _Seriously_."

His arms had tightened his grip around my waist and his head was tucked under my chin. He mumbled into my clavicle, "Sometimes I'm not sure if I still know you."

"Changes aren't always bad things. Weren't they your words a while ago?"

"I hate it when you throw my words back at me," he had grumbled.

Only seconds later we were both chuckling. While I led him to the bedroom I asked, "So you're going to see Matthews next week again, right?"

He sighed and rubbed a hand tiredly over his eyes. Petulantly he retorted, "I don't like seeing a shrink. I have no remaining injuries or anything like that."

I laid down on the bed and pulled him on top of me. I unbuttoned his shirt and scoffed, "Right, you just suffer from nightmares _every_ fucking night since it happened. Will you go to Matthews voluntarily or do I have to drag you there?"

He pouted and smashed our mouths together. "Macho."

"You like me going commando," I reminded him.

"Only in bed."

He grinned down at me; his hair fell onto his forehead, framing his face in an adorable way. Yes, I had expanded my cheesy vocabulary in regards to him and I didn't mind it one single bit. He chuckled when I pulled him in for another kiss and afterwards we both got rid of our clothes in less than a minute. He felt amazing when he offered me his body.

My body was still tingling all over and I was also still dwelling on the feeling of how incredibly amazing he had felt just a few minutes ago. He was curled up around me, his head using my chest as a pillow with one arm sprawled across my abdomen. I was carding my fingers through the long strands of his hair, listening to his breathing even out and feeling the warmth of his body while he slept peacefully.

I was still waiting for the fanfares to blare and announce that something epic had happened but that was obviously never going to happen. My world had been turned upside down and I'll never forget how scared I have been but in the end I didn't mind that our relationship had changed in a fundamental and good way.

END


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